In an ordinary life, belief follows evidence. In an extra-ordinary life, evidence follows belief.
We all have the power to choose the life we want but due to the way we have been brought up, most of us seek evidence before we believe in our own abilities. But if you want to achieve greatness, this method wont work.
We all are humans and we make mistakes. Recently I was lazy enough to miss one of my domains renewed on time which had 1000 visitors a month and it was taken by someone else even before I thought of acting. I had not looked at the impact the website was making but as soon as I lost it, i discovered the impact it was making and I started to regret my laziness and not acting fast enough. I did not share this with many but I can guess what will be their response. When we do regret, people in our support stucture comes up with various suggestions, most of which have the same theme – "don't regret".
BUT then it is humanly impossible* not to regret and it is something we have to deal with. One well known way we all know to deal with a mistake is to focus on learning from the mistake and set in stone such that we don't repeat it (well, at least not in near future). However to put an honest effort to "learning from mistakes" we need to get over regret first.
So given that we have to deal with regret, sooner than later, the key point I want to raise is (well an obvious one) this – longer it takes you to come out of regret more it will cost you – emotionally, financially and physically. Being aware of it helps us act faster and come out of regret sooner.
So next time you regret, ask yourself – what is my regret cost? Or simply put, how much is this regret costing me?
* – If you think it is possible to not to regret good for you. However for most it is not. Here is an expert view (ted video) on the same.
As I was interacting with my brother who is a full time freelance photographer I read him say 'I am clear on what I need to do'. While I only see confusion all around me, this is a refreshing thought. I always regarded the power of clarity very highly but I did further contemplation on it. I concluded that Clarity brings something which makes it invaluable in this age of information overload where there are a millon things waiting to distract you.
Clarity gives you freedom – freedom from clutter, noise and non-sense.
I have known to be a person with real bad memory however there are certain things which have made a mark in my memory such that they are hard to forget. One such is the interview of Rahul Bose I watched in 2007.
Rahul Bose for starter is an inspiring person, does things very unusually to keep you interested. However I never followed him too much before or after this interview of his. However everything he says in this interview was so original and inspiring that I could never forget it.
The final nail on the coffin was when he says something I never heard, read or seen from anyone, anywhere. One a question on how happy he is, he says "My time is up, I am happy to go today" and that hit me like a thunderbolt. How many of us can ever say such a thing? We always are running behind getting more of something or the other. Though we probably cant, this is something to aim for – A life where you are fully fulfilled, every single day so that you don't have any regrets if and when you die unexpectedly.
For those who are lazy enough to click on the link, here is the extract from it.
Anuradha SenGupta: Are you happy?
Rahul Bose: Unbelievably. Unbelievably. My father is so very ill, and, you know, he’s, he’s going, and someone said, you know, “how would that do to you”; I said, “you know, it does nothing.” I really loved this man and he loved me back, and he goes. If, you asked someone a question, “If you died today, just before you popped it, would you, what would your last thought be? Would there be any regret, would there be any kind of, ‘I wish, just give me a few hours more!’” My time is up; I would be very happy to go, today. I’ve overjoyed to go.
Ego is something which is there in all of us. For ego, the basic need is not food, shelter or roof on top but it is the recognition (that it exists). The problem is that there is no limit to the amount of recognition it requires. Irrespective of how much recognition you are getting now, it always needs more than that to feel good about itself. Because in its world, it is the sun and it wants everyone to revolve around it (don’t it its true, then tell me how many likes you want for every post you make?).
When things don’t happen that way, it looks around scampering for whatever recognition it can get. When some other ego gets more recognition than it does, it first compares and evaluates why? If it is for bigger accomplishments or contribution then it tries to reason it out and tries to accepts it and think of emulating it (well, to get similar or more recognition). When it can’t emulate or accept it, it boils with pure jealousy.
The bottom line is where there is ego, there is comparison. Instead of asking ourselves not to compare, we need to recognise that it cannot be ‘deleted’ and learn to live with it.
It is very important for all of us to figure out what is really important to us. Most of us fail miserably in this, I feel I do, at least. We tend to do follow the crowd and don’t ever considering taking risks in this direction, how small or big they may be. We as humans have the responsibility to find this bloody thing and go after it. And contrary to what the title says, you don't have much of a choice in this pursuit.
It sounds obvious but in personal life seldom we plan, plan well ahead or plan big. I have just screwed up planning around my newborn son’s passport and visa so much that I hang my head in shame. I have paid a heavy price for it and have learnt a HUGE lesson and felt blabbering the below line. Hope it makes sense to you.
Life pays those who plan and make them pay those who don't.
Comparison is essential. It helps us choose the good against the bad, the best against the better. well, it looks alright but in this material world EVERYTHING that you use (brush, pen, book, house, mobile,…) or interact with compete for your time/money one way or the other and hence the need to compare (shall I buy this or that, shall I go with Tim for Bday party or with Jim for lunch).
However, we have been so habituated to comparision that we cannot stop ourself from comparing even when there is no need to do so. I for example found myself comparing who is the cutest of the two kids in the below video (which I liked a lot). Then I realised – Yes, comparison has truly become a disease and we need to be more conscious when start comparisons unnecessarily and stop it sooner than later.